Establishing Boundaries at Work

By finding my voice and getting comfortable using the word “No”

I was sitting in the conference room with my boss and the rest of my team. We were discussing an annual project that no one wanted to undertake. It got tossed around like a hot potato every year and it was always a negotiation who would have responsibility for executing it. I had undertaken the project twice already and was in no mood to do it again. One of my coworkers was trying to force it on me though.

“No, I don’t want to lead that project this year.” This was not an easy thing for me to say. My heart was beating faster, but I stood my ground. I would have been really unhappy about the situation if I “took one for the team” for a second time.

There was a tense silence in the room.

Finally, another team member spoke up, “I can take on the project this year if no one else is interested.”

The team reached a mutual decision to give it to the teammate who graciously volunteered. I breathed a sigh of relief that the issue was resolved and I did not get stuck with an unwanted burden. I know I would have become resentful working on a project that I found repetitive and not stimulating. More importantly, the quality of my work would have dropped because I would have hated the project. I learned a valuable lesson that day that I could stick to my boundaries and it is not catastrophic for me or my career. My team respected my choice and a fair course of action was decided on. If I had given in, the rest of my team would have understood that it wasn’t fair to me but would not have done anything about it. In the end, it is up to me to ensure I am treated fairly. Boundaries are my tool for doing that.

This was the first of many lessons for me in setting boundaries at work. I used to be afraid to speak up or make a refusal at all. Before, I had always kept quiet or chose the most polite option even when it didn’t…

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