YESTERDAY HURTS TODAY

By Sheri Khan, LPC

Many people struggle with the weight of past painful experiences and traumas. When things in the past remain in your mind unsettled, it can be extremely difficult to move wholly onward and impossible to not have those hurts impact today. Healing can occur when our beliefs about past hurts shift to a healthier viewpoint.

If your life experiences include childhood trauma, for example, you may hold the negative beliefs that you are not good enough and/or you are not loveable both which generate from that trauma. These deeply held beliefs can show up for you today through feelings of insecurity in relationships and in your career goals. You may unwittingly focus on all of the evidence in your life that continues to support these negative beliefs, thus, the beliefs must be true. If you argue with your partner and separate — Proof you are not loveable. If you experience career setbacks — Proof you are not good enough.

While we can never change what has happened, and accepting this can take time, a healthy response you are free to choose is to embrace healing so you can move onward. Oftentimes with childhood trauma for instance, you may hold shame and gently can begin to understand that you were a child, and, by that definition, are harmless. This understanding never lets perpetrators off the hook nor does it minimize what has happened. It can, however, empower you, who continues to suffer today, to intentionally shift the beliefs you hold about these past experiences. Shifting your beliefs has nothing to do with others; it is all for you.

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